pinakidion.*

more cat pictures

Yeah, it’s a strange one today. Feeling a bit disconnected from reality, so enjoy something that is descriptive of my weird sense of humor.

The following is most of the text for an email I will send to the minister. Certain details are different but that’s more of privacy than anything. I also didn’t include any local issues other than the ones already discussed with someone on either the Deacon Board or the Financial Board.

Where Ya Been?
I’ve been asking God to actually speak to me this year. I am quite adamant, it has to be Him, not my voice, the voice of a minister, or the voice of a believing friend. It had to be Him and only Him in simple terms that I can understand. That was January of this year, before that the big ongoing prayer was “make me into something different”. I felt like I had a character flaw that needed to be removed from me. I clung to 2 Co 12:9 for dear life, even if it upset me that the answer may actually be ‘no, rely on my grace more’. Mostly, though, I’ve been in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

Nod is a place of hard work, little reward, and great frustration. Frustration is the most accurate way to describe where I’ve been. This wasn’t a localized frustration, this was with most areas of my life. I was frustrated that I am unable to read the Bible and enjoy it. I was frsutrated that my denomination is doing crazy things that hurt others. I was frustrated that my family was not doing very well. Praying only made me angry – the more I prayed, the angrier I got. After a while, my conversations with God were basically angry from start to finish. I fell into fatalism (not a slam on Calvinism) and basically shrugged whenever I addressed the Almighty.

Why pray at all? Habit, I guess. I would start to pray and catch myself. I’d apologize to God for taking his name in vain and mention that I still can’t hear Him. There weren’t many prayers outside of the morning prayer of “Still me. Still can’t hear you. You’re still soveriegn. Whenever your timing allows, it’d be nice to hear from you. Since all things are foreordained, I’ll just say goodbye for now instead of so be it.” (One translation of Amen is ‘so be it’.)

I knew He cared, but since He is soveriegn, I couldn’t rush Him or change His mind or otherwise change the events He set into motion before the creation of the world. There was not any real reason to get all worked up about when He’d answer or what His answer would be. He cares, He’ll do what He does, when he does it, and I just have to wait on His timing. Of course, I ended up getting all worked up about it. When the Bible speaks of a dividing wall of hostility, I know what it means from personal experience.

Backing up a little bit, I had been praying that I could just accept. For example, when someone addresses a church and talks about getting back to discipling, I want to just accept that is good for them, even when they are proclaiming that it is a biblical mandate. I would beg God to prevent me from being triggered by anything. Despite that, I felt like I was triggered every week. The downside of thinking that about 85% of what my denomination (and myself as a former member) did was in error is that there are a lot of triggers.

I was tired of asking ‘why’ and trying to explain that I wasn’t bitter about my past. I was tired of having many queries turned back on me when I sought clarification. I was tired of leaders in other churches contacting me because I had sent an email to a third party. I was really tired that justice felt delayed and that no one was listening. I had reasoned that if I wasn’t triggered in the first place to ask ‘why?’ or ask ‘can this be done biblically?’ or ask ‘where is that in the Bible?’ then I could be more at peace because nothing would really bother me. I’ve been praying for things to stop bothering me now for at least two years, maybe longer.

It’s not a great epiphany that straightened this all out. I finally heard Him, which is what I wanted all along. No, I didn’t hear the James Earl Jones voiceover or see a beam of light. After the 80millionth “just help me”, the answer came through a discussion with my wife and more came later after some time to retreat.

God made me to ask ‘why’. I’m always going to want to know ‘why’. It is a good thing to ask ‘why’. The idea He gave me was, “Be who I created you to be.”

It is human nature to complicate a simple idea with explanations and caveats of possible implications. Sometimes, this can ruin a mountaintop experience. Fortunately, this is much less an emotional experience than a spiritual experience. It is the feeling that the tumblers of the combination lock have just set in the right place in order to open the door. It is something that resonantes in mind and spirit, not just the heart. Still, it is fair to provide a little bit more of what that really means in a practical sense.

Sin is a part of my life, but I was not created to sin. (Romans 6:1-2)
No one was created to be sinful. As a result of the fall, sin is a part of our lives and even a part of our nature. Still, God did create sin into us. It is not our purpose to sin. Through Jesus we are forgiven of our sin and live under grace. That grace is not a license to sin.

Practically what this means is that I am not created to sin against others. Sure, we may get into conflict (not a sin), but it can be worked out. Despite my best intentions, I am going to say things that will hurt another person’s feelings or offend them in some way. When that happens, I should deal with it the best way available. Knowing that some offense is inevitable, however, does not provide license to wantonly abuse others only to claim that they misunderstood my intentions. Injury (real or perceived) has occurred and that injury must be addressed. Aruging about intention rarely resolves anything. Put another way; if I rear-end someone’s car, should I apologize or suggest that they not put on brakes?

Asking ‘why’ also creates discomfort. It is the same kind of discomfort that I had in discussing my vasectomy with anyone. I don’t mean the procedure itself, but my need to have it in the first place. The why questions are:

• Why do I have some 1 in 6.4 million genetic rarity that no one can readily explain?
• Why will my children have to be concerned that their children may have more severe issues than they had?
• Why was I created to pass this anomaly on?

In talking to others about it, many would say things to me like ‘two is a good number’ and ‘you got one of each’. I would mention that part of dealing with this is that my wife and I always wanted three children. In my own mind, I asked the question, “Why would you risk having a third child with potentially severe medical issues?” Thankfully, none of my friends and family spoke this question aloud to me. They would ask other why questions focused on “why are you so certain that the genetic issue is you?”. I bring all this up to say that asking the former question (why a third child with issues) is the type of question I want to avoid. The latter question (why do you think it is you) is uncomfortable to discuss, but was ultimately helpful in dealing with the situation. This is the type of why question I want to ask.

Some things are not my fight (Proverbs 26:17-21)
Dr. King once said that the absence of tension is negative peace, while positive peace is the presence of justice. Put another way, negative peace is only the absence of direct violence while a positive peace is also the absence of structural and cultural violence. In terms of the ICoC, I believe that most, if not all of the direct abuse and problems have been addressed while some of the structual and cultural issues have not. As someone that is a part of this community, it is fair to discuss structural and cultural issues. However, personal issues are not mine to deal with. If someone invites me, I’ll still tend to avoid it unless both parties are comfortable with my presence. I cannot make every situation resolve well and it is unwise to invite myself to be party to a conflict I’m not a part of. So if you want me to talk to your minister, I’ll poltiely decline.

Epilogue
All of this is well and good, you may say, but what about the angry praying and Bible reading and all of that? Good question. As far as praying goes, I follow the advice of John Piper and work through prayer in eight steps:

1. Incline my heart to god (Psalm 119:36 RSV)
2. Open the eyes of my heart (Psalm 119:18)
3. Enlighten my heart (Ephesian 1:18)
4. Be united in heart (Psalm 86:11)
5. Be satisfied with God (Psalm 90:14 RSV)
6. Strengthen my joy (Ephesians 3:16)
7. Pray to produce acts of love and service (Colossians 1:10)
8. Hallowed be your name (Matthew 6:9)

This works pretty well on days where I am disciplined enough to do it correctly. Sometimes I get stuck at step 1, sometimes step 4, other times step 5. Sometimes I do step 6 in unhealthy ways, but I’ll get better over time. I want the final step to be more than an afterthought. I want to end prayers differently that “your will be done in Jesus name, Amen.”

As far as the reading goes, it is still difficult to hear God’s voice, even after I pray. I still hear so many commentaries and speakers that I wish I could unlearn. Being able to be at peace with God frees me up to deal with this. I still feel like it’s not as ‘deep’ as I want it, but at least it doesn’t frustrate me so much anymore.

Thank you for being my friends and reading. You are a blessing to me and I hope to be a blessing to others.

see more crazy cat pics

In other news, I’m back. I spent a lot of time in Sycarion land and plan to spend more time there. Really though, I’m back in more ways than one. What does that mean? That means ICoC content. That means more Bible stuff. That means asking a lot of ‘why’ questions, but not asking a leading question (negative sense of a leading question, that is). Call it an epiphany or an answered prayer. Point is, I’ve come back from this long pit. I’ll explain the reasons behind it soon.

As always, more later.

Feel free to send money or recipes. Good healthy stuff is nice as I am working my way down.

Suppose your church leader received this email and asked you what you would suggest. Any takers?

Dear Delegates:

I pray this email finds all of you well and close to God!

I am sending this out in preparation for our International Leadership Conference.

Please take a moment to send this out to the people that you are representing and ask them to fill it out, too.

What are 4 areas of spirituality, leadership or church building that you feel needs to be addressed or taught at the ILC.

Who do you feel like could preach/teach effectively on these topics.

1. Need and Who:

2. Need and Who:

3. Need and Who:

4. Need and Who:

5. What is on your heart personally or what has God revealed to you recently, as you have been serving God’s Kingdom.
(in other words - if you were to offer a lesson to the Kingdom - what would be the topic.)

Now, I can tell you who I think will fill these slots for my former denomination, but just for fun, what you would say?

You’re The Mists of Avalon!
by Marion Zimmer Bradley
You’re obsessed with Camelot in all its forms, from Arthurian legend
to the Kennedy administration. Your favorite movie from childhood was "The Sword in
the Stone". But more than tales of wizardry and Cuban missiles, you’ve focused on
women. You know that they truly hold all the power. You always wished you could meet
Jackie Kennedy.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I am here, just not writing on this site. I’m still listening to the Who’s My Brother series from Chicago. One person in attendance there has said that it should not be what I expected. I must confess that I listened to Tony Singh’s presentation first, which was a pretty bad idea because of the lack of context.

I can say, however, that regardless of context, the body of scripture used has been largely used to justify any separation over ANY issue. That doesn’t make the point less reasonable, just not well-proven.

I am interesting in what a conscience family is. This is a coined term either or Steve or F. LaGard Smith. I hope it is better defined than missional, a word that has come to mean just about anything.

I am otherwise doing well and the family is working through the last round of disease going through the family. I am working with a print on demand playing card company on something for sycarion. I’m trying to play some statis-Pro Football. Otherwise, I look forward to warmer weather.

My wife is Vice-President of the Hands and Voices chapter in Nebraska. Actually, she is co-veep. We felt that we needed two to promote work in each half of the state. My wife is the veep for the eastern half. She is also soon to be published on the Boys Town website. I am very proud of her.

More later. Really. More later.

I strike an odd figure in many places. Sometimes it is my size, other times it is an unintentional act of completely disregarding my surroundings. Earlier today, for example, I’m sitting in the parking lot of a discount grocery store with the window down in our car. Not that strange, I know. It’s not like I can shop at Nieman-Marcus. The notable thing is that two cars somewhere on the lot are pumping out 50 cent (I recognized the tune) and Shawty Lo, respectively. Me? I’m pumping out opera while munching on a couple of cheap deli burritos. I’m sure that my two-day old beard adds to an air of urban sophistication amongst so many of my NPR listening brethren.

I’m an old school kind of guy, I still have NWA on my portable hard drive. The opera is real old school, of course, but not everyone kicks to DJ Vivaldi.

On to the next episode

While I was home on vacation, I came upon the other black sheep in my family. Those that know my family may marvel that there are only two black sheep in the family. I would consider the entire clan to be on the fringe of genteel society as it is. One uncle is the man’s man with two Harleys, two prison-style tattooed sleeves, a room with the fur of more dead animals than Hemingway, etc. You know what I mean.

His idea of gun control is using a 22 caliber pistol.

Anyway, he sees my daughter and just melts. He makes faces, sings songs, and in general acts like the jolly ol’ Saint Nick of yore. She reaches out to him and they have a grand time as he dances with her in my mother’s front yard. You see, he’s always loved kids. His license plate on the HUM-V (not a Hummer, a HUM-V) he drives is a tribute to his daughters.

My other uncle has raised his nine children in what I choose to call an “aggressive” manner. All his sons are aggressive and play physical jokes on each other. If you’ve ever seen Bam Margera and all the things he does to his step-father, imagine five Bams and a father that fights back. The standing rule is that if you break, you pay to fix it.

Having said that, I enjoy being with them because there is zero pretension. Everyone is who they say they are. No fronts, no lies, no dishonesty. We sat down to dinner and everyone just started talking about which teacher is afraid of which child, how many kids they are have, why did I move to Nebraska, etc. Spiral Ham, box Mac-n-Cheese, and collard greens. It was a great time.

I really went to see my grandfather who is 91. My grandmother passed away two years ago - she had a few medical problems, but basically died after years of just giving up. I think it was about 15 years ago, she decided that she could not walk and did not from that day forward. My grandfather did all he could to take care of her.

After she passed, he wasn’t able to live alone in the house he shared with her for what must have been 50 years. He sold it the day before I saw him. It’s a house I lived in for a time while I went to Kindegarden and a couple summers. I wished I could have seen it one last time.

My grandfather now lives with my uncle, his middle son. All my relatives told me that he wasn’t long for this world. I was eager to see him. I couldn’t come back for my grandmother’s funeral, though I was supposed to be a pall bearer. Of all the children and grandchildren, Pop always said he favored me the most and that means a lot to me.

He told me that he couldn’t hear anything because the batteries in his hearing aids all died. Truth is, he just doesn’t want to wear them. I told him he could wear my son’s if that helped. I couldn’t take Brother Bear with me that night as he was already asleep, but something about a two year old wearing a hearing aid sparked something within him, I guess.

I showed him some pictures of the kids. He didn’t say anything. Every once in a while, he would glance up at the big screen tv blaring behind us. Most of the family wrestled in and out of the room while we were talking, so it wasn’t that much of a distraction. Pop worked in the Naval Shipyards for decades out of Norfolk, VA. He worked on a lot of navy boats still in service today. He could say a lot about so much history.

But he chose to say little except that he was glad to see me.

Everyone was home for Easter dinner, and Pop would be the head of the table as always. The Easter tradition is that those sitting closest to the foot of the table had the luckier seat. I was in the luckiest seat, something everyone reminded me of twice. As we ate, Pop watched silently as everyone ate. Once in a while, one of my cousins would lean over and tell him a joke and he’d draw his face into the world’s largest smile and open his mouth to laugh. Yet, he was silent. Still, he had a face that invited laughter and we’d all join in. During those times, his Lasik-corrected eyes would twinkle just a little. It was like the grandfather of my childhood was back. I felt lucky to see him laugh, he had laughed so little the past five years as my grandmother deteriorated and eventually passed away.

After dinner, I had to leave in order to pack for home tomorrow morning. I tarried a bit longer to tell him that I had to leave.

His face grew long and his eyes welled up with tears. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Goodbye”. We both knew what he meant. I hugged him once more and left.

With all the oddballs in my family, and I am certainly the oddest, my Pop is unique amongst them all. He loves to laugh, he loves to share what he has, he loves children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. His words have always been few and carefully chosen. That has given him a certain presence that all the rest of us lack. He was always the stable, dependable one in a chaotic sea of family that splashed and sloshed across the US.

I miss him already.

Per custom, the theme is changed for April 1st.

Um. Yeah.

Some other things of note. Again, this is so I can understand my own notes later.

• Mt. Vernon, Indiana, one of three Mt. Vernon’s I passed at high speed (Virginia, Iowa)
• Rebel Yell in Paducah, Ky.
• Why my son loves country music
• Can’t make it to Knoxville. We made it to Knoxville.
• Blue Ridge Parkway.
• How to tell a good story over time
• Receptacle of Memories discussion
• Brother Bear meets a real chicken and egg situation
• Black Market Dairy and the cravings of the modern toddler
• Having Dirt does not equal sharing Dirt with a spouse
• Chick-Fil-A at last (and for the only time) in Burlington
• Raleigh is not how I remember
• This is home.
• The ocean is overrated, how about less sand and wind?
• Where is my family?
• Eeek a mouse.
• One Black Sheep meets the Other Black Sheep in the family.
• What do you mean we have to go back a different way?
• Easter at Sunrise, Easter with Dad.
• Brother Bear steals the hearts of many, including another set of parents of a deaf child.
• Too much food.
• There are good thing in Washington DC, really. No, really.
• Gallaudet University trip.
• Welcome to W. Va, Pennsylvania, W. Va, Ohio. What?
• Finally, the family has come back to arrived in Columbus.
• Snow? Iowa?
• Will it play in Peoria? Yes.
• Old Republican Women and why they like Obama.
• Nut in Frostburg, Md that thinks the British are coming.
• Why I really hate fast food (with two exceptions)
• Is this really home?
• Honey, we forget something on the counter…

There’s more, but that’s enough for now. Gotta run, my Saturday writing time is up.

I’m not going to go day by day. However, there’s a couple of other things I have to write down now before I forget. I’m been holding on to them for 2.5 weeks.

Post-Discipleship Renaissance
I read an article by Jeff Bridges about his own belief until a few years ago. He believed that he needed the gospel until he became a Christian, then needed discipleship from that point until death. This made him rather miserable and made his Christian walk an endless chore. He resolved it in part by recognizing that he needed the gospel his entire life. The rest, you can read for yourself. (Insert Link) I struggle to find out what it means for me in my own life as I have a much better idea of what I see as damaging than what I see as helpful. I see a three year structured program for new believers as helpful. I see the goal of teaching people to take their own spirituality seriously as good. I see the idea that each believer as the only one responsible for their walk with God as a good one. Still, what that looks like in a general sense is hard for me to imagine. I know what it looks like for me, but not so much for others.

I’m surrounded by many that believe that ICoC-style discipleship is the biblical ideal. I say ICoC style, but it’s really a light version stripped of any authority. As I continue to say, our form of discipleship comes from the Ft. Lauderdale Five that launched the Shepherding Movement. From those five, it spread into the Navigators, Campus Crusade (through Bill Bright), Churches of Christ (including Crossroads), and others. The sixties in Florida must have been really something. All of these connections start with these five men that decided to be spiritual minders to each other. Four of the five have denounced these teachings.

So what was discipleship like in the US in the 40s? That preceded the so-called biblical model of having a spiritual big brother, so I was interested in what was there. So far, the search have provided a model that has two of the three primary characteristics I espouse in discipleship. (Insert Link) Those two are structure and temporary duration. The third, voluntary participation didn’t seem to be there and it seems this program led to church problems.

(fragment) It seems that post-2003, discipleship can be determined in a few ways:

1. Do what we always did.
2. Be nicer about what we always did by removing some level or all authority.
3. Do nothing.
4. Make discipleship a team sport.
5. Do something different.

I’ve seen all these optionsdone , but I will say that option 5 seems to scare people the most. I wish it didn’t.

More on that later, just had to write it down.

The next two are personally related, though they deal with ICoC issues. The first, I’ll just leave as is. The second, though is more important to me. Unity is still a big interest of mine, though I feel as if I have become more liberal that F. Lagard Smith in that regard. I could say that I’m sorta like Campbell who considered a Calvinist his brother in Christ(insert link).

Reap the Whirlwind
Not two weeks old, but troublesome. RD Baker has been pushed out of Phoenix. I won’t say more about it because I am not there. John Augustine might want to remove the good review written by RD. I’m sure that certain folks in Phoenix wish that Google could be ‘cleansed’. Oh well.

Who Is My Brother?
Chicago is doing a big thing on fellowship and inter-denomination dating. I hope this is an extension of reaching out to COC’s in the area. Naperville reached out to them back in 2003 and their minister even presented a paper at Douglas Jacoby’s ITS conference. I met Rich and he is a great guy.

However, I will say that from the UPC, all that can be said is that we can fellowship with those that believe in believer’s baptism, an inerrant Bible, unmistakable repentance (a quote), and discipleship that has some sort of challenge to a Christian (amongst other things) and you cannot believe in what is called hyper-autonomy. You can date someone outside the ICoC as long as they pretty much believe what the ICoC (Cooperative Churches) espouse in the UPC.

Any deviation from this and Chicago, the unofficial HQ of the ICoC (Cooperative Churches), will be invalidating its own documented beliefs. I know that it was designed to address churches within the historical ICoC, but any real meaningful cooperative efforts with non-ICoC congregations must be similar to the measures described in the Regional Partnership section (sans delegates), otherwise it is just lip service.

See, if you want a denomination, you have to go through the procedural channels to change to core document. After all, as stated in the clarifying documentation, you have to believe all of it in order to sign. If April 12 provides a different message, they will not be following their own rules. Granted, I’ll be delighted if they say something different, but the means do not justify the ends. Either go through proper channels and change the UPC or get rid of it altogether. The authors were the ones that put in the all-or-nothing provision in the first place.

(fragment)Who Is My Brother is the wrong question. Jesus clearly stated who is my brother. Whom can I marry is also the wrong question. The question is, are these two people ready for marriage. I felt prepared for my marriage because of the preparation given to us by an older couple that has been through everything at least twice. We also had the help of Family Dynamics. Despite a short courtship, we laid a foundation that has served us through all kinds of trials and major disagreements. This may not help everyone, but a rash marriage is unwise even if the two people has exactly identical beliefs.

Trying to front-load the question ahead of time by writing off entire denominations is similar to what the Pharisees did. In order to build a protective hedge, they would write off all kinds of things that were perfectly fine (Such as healing on the Sabbath) and prohibiting things that were actually good (Corban substitution trick).

As always, more on that later. Again, I will celebrate in the streets if the message on April 12 is different from the UPC. I hope that cooperation will begin with other churches in the area, RM or not.

More on the trip coming up later this week.

That would be:

Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio. We also visited Washington, DC. To be fair, the time in Kansas was all at 70 mph for 20 minutes. We stopped in all the other states, either to sleep, eat, or stretch.

What prompted this modern odyssey across the Eastern half of the country? I wanted to see home for the first time in about two years. If you remember, it was about a little over two years ago that the great Chick-Fil-A run began. At that time, we were getting rid of the Cadillac Catera that no one wants. Just to let you know, my father sold it in February of this year.

My wife was very supportive, especially as I wanted to spend time teaching our children about my side of their heritage. So, after two days of furious activity, we washed everything we own and threw it into suitcases the day we left. Mrtool housesat for us, he saw the interrupted state we left the house in.

Prior to this, some meticulous planning had been done to research every rest area between here and NC. I knew where we could stop at any given time. I also knew where all the Chick-Fil-A’s were. A man has to have priorities in order before such a massive undertaking. My wife did her usual spatial geometry trick to get everything to fit into the car. We packed a cooler with whole milk, two quiches, luncheon meat and ice. Two Whole Foods bags had all the dry food (two boxes of cheerios, raisins, and who knows what else.) We were ready.

The caveat in all this was that we had to use the back seat for some of our stuff. This meant that if she wanted to sit in the back with the children, we would have to unpack the backseat into the passenger side front seat, not a trivial matter. Still, we felt that this was the best that could be done. I mean, we have a double stroller, six bags/suitcases of clothes, food, games, and books. For those that may not know, we own a Ford Taurus. It’s not a Cooper, but it’s not a Town and Country, either.

We planned to leave that morning, but my tax refund arrived that morning in my bank account. This meant we could pay off everyone before the trip instead of after. I then spent the next two hours paying off everyone you can think of. All the medical bills are done, finished, paid in full, never to see the light of day again. We also have met our deductible for the year, to boot. We paid off our one little credit card completely and we caught up on a couple other bills as well.

Now leaving at 2pm, I said that we had to make it to St. Louis at all costs. You’d think I’d know better than to make such statements having been a part of a church that said this since its inception. Still, I guess the training is very hard to undo. My wife had a better idea, but I didn’t listen until the next day. Lesson learned: listen to your wife. Anyway, we were off to the great frontier at 2pm, ready to meet what faced us.

It was about 3pm that Dancing Bear, our daughter, decided that the car seat was not her friend. She voiced this complaint pretty much until we made it to Bobber’s house in St. Louis at 12am. Brother Bear, our son, decided that sleeping was better than listening to his sister complain. This, of course, meant that he was wide awake in St. Louis. We made a complete tour of all the rest areas in Missouri on our route in vain attempts to appease Dancing Bear. She was happy at every stop until we put her back into the seat. As a result of day one of our trip, I have decided that I will never ever complain again if there is a crying baby in a restaurant or plane.

The cooler was in the trunk, but thankfully we had to stop every thirty-forty minutes anyway. Most of the good stuff was eaten by the time we arrived at Bobber’s. One of the games I brought cannot be played in the car and my wife and I traded complaints of tiredness.

This was the worst day of the entire trip.

Arriving at Bobber’s, he met me in the driveway and helped me unload the car. We were given the basement. My wife needed to pump immediately, so Bobber and I got everything in while she setup. Both the children decided that the basement was the most fun place in history. My son was bouncing off the walls.

Bobber and I talked for two hours about all kinds of things. ICoC a little, politics, the trip, the kids, etc. We had so much fun, but finally the family constitutions gave out - we had to sleep. Early next morning, I got up. Bobber’s wife talked to me about breakfast only to segue into more discussions with Bobber all through the rest of the morning. I enjoyed hearing ideas about religion and politics as well as the paleolithic diet. That particular morning, we were not following the plan as waffles were made, much to the delight of Brother Bear.

We ended up talking about Ron Paul, the role of government, equality vs equity, the Constitution, food, where are they now(ICoC edition), liturgy, Democrats, slot car race tracks, Debian, Slackware, and other things. I saw the HQ of http://kc0dxf.net and the garage sized slot car track. I had a lot of fun, but I began to say good-bye at 9:15am in order to get on the road.

My wife and his wife joked with each other as 11am approached that this good-bye could take another hour. We left at 11:20am.

I made it home okay.

More to say, but it’s late.

And the house smells funny.

If you can believe it, I managed to stay off line for 6 days. This has been good and bad for me. Good in that I have a break in my internet routine. Bad in that folks that depend on me for website stuff found out that I was not easily reached. Still, it has been a good few days.

I enjoyed my stay with Bobber. We talked about everything from Ron Paul to religion to Debian. I saw the home for his website. I saw the groove racing track. It was a great time. We started saying goodbye at 9:15am, my family left at 11:30.

I also enjoyed our stay with Scott. More on that later.

More importantly, it looks like we may need to return home another way. First stop is Raleigh to see Kurt, but then the trip is a northern odyssey. If we go too far north, we hit major snow in Chicago. If we go back the way we came, we face flooding in Kentucky. At this point, it looks like we will be traveling Raleigh to DC to Columbus, Ohio to Indianapolis to Davenport, IA to home. I want to see Scott and Bobber again, but the weather may not cooperate.

More on that later, but I’ll take a really big internet risk here. (Phone number removed despite it being a permanent fixture of the internet now.)

BALEETED!

That’s me. I need folks to reach me, so there it is. I’m ready for the prank calls. If you’re my friend and pretend to be a prank call, I will hang up on you. You’ve been warned.

Anyway, I’ll let you know as Tuesday approaches. We are leaving here that morning and making our way West (and North, then West, then kinda Southwest.)

It has been a much needed break away from the regular things in life we’ve had the past three years. No church stuff, no appointments, no surgeries, no nothing. Just the ocean, a lot of wind, much family, and good seafood.

I had hoped that being here would also spark a spiritual renewal, but outside of the release of tension, that hasn’t happened yet. I feel strange addressing a church on Easter Sunday, but I remember that Jesus came to call the sinners, not the saints. I’m only there to introduce my children for whom this little church has prayed continuously for over two years. Whereas before they saw only pictures, Sunday, they see them face to face. Heaven is like that, too, but that’s a different topic altogether.

I do hope to see Doug and Ryan on the trip back. All I ask is to show me where a Chick-Fil-A is located.

I plan on writing much more in two weeks.

I’ll probably write from home, but we’ll be leaving in a couple hours. Thanks to everyone for the help and hospitality.

• Bobber, I’ll call you later today. Haven’t talked to my wife about it yet.
• RH, thanks for the help, I have contact with Knoxville.
• Scott, I’ll call you tomorrow from the road.
• Kurt, I’ll call you, too, but I need you to call me because I’ve lost your number. Everyone I just mentioned has my cell.

Next stop, Iowa for a brief trip down I-29.

Not that I don’t like emailing my friends, but I cannot send private email from work. I cannot use my work email because it is all stored and sifted for legal reasons. Thus, here is my projected itinerary for the trip East:

March 14th: Leave Omaha and arrive in St. Louis
March 15th: Leave St. Louis and arrive in Knoxville
March 16th: Leave Knoxville and arrive in Winston-Salem
March 17th: Leave WS and arrive home.

Part of the trip on the 15th will be a picture of the arch. Part of the 16th trip will be a visit to the Whitnet Holocaust Memorial (maybe). Part of the 17th trip will be to find Cherry-Lemon Sundrop (available only in four counties in NC and one in TN).

On the way back, we will reverse the course starting on March 25th.

To anyone helping us out with places to stay, my wife doesn’t eat seafood or pork. I will eat anything but anchovies.

I am very grateful to those that have offered to help, it is a great help to us trying to visit friends and family. Much love from the wife and me.

Yes, it’s almost time. The Pink clan is driving east to my ancestral homeland. I’ll post the route later, because it is different from the route of the famous Chick-Fil-A run. I’m going through Tennessee. It adds all of 20 miles and I avoid the wasteland known as southern Indiana and Southern Illinois. Plus, I’ll take another detour to see the Holocaust Memorial featured in the movie, Paperclips.

Yes, I am driving thought St. Louis and down I-40. We leave here on March 14 and will be traveling for a little over 3 days. Night one should put us in St. Louis, Night two in Knoxville. Night three Winston-salem or Raleigh or home. Depends.

I have mapped out all the Chick-Fil-A’s again. I will not be revisiting the Charleston, WV location with me and mrtool’s picture. however, thanks to wireless, I will be ordering from the car en route for a pick up. Bwa ha ha ha. Technology is great.

For the record, I am basically better. I got my yearly physical yesterday and everything seems normal (except being overweight). blood pressure is actually the low end of normal. Maybe I’m more mellow than I think. I’m down 14 pounds from Jan 1, so I am feeling a bit better.

Anywho, I’ll write from home, but won’t be around here until next week. My Statis-Pro football league has its draft this Saturday.

I stumbled across something recently. Basically, I saw two charges on my account from KNN. Since I thought my account was already canceled, I asked that it be canceled. Chris very graciously credited me a free month for DToday. I was assured that there would be no charge in March and I believe him. Very pleasant, indeed.

However, I clicked on a link and suffered a minor setback.

I’ll make you a deal Mike. Let’s have ‘Regional’ Leaders again as you justify in this paper. The only condition is that no one that has ever served as WSL, GSL, WSE (Elder), Kingdom Teacher, GSE (Elder), or Kingdom Elder can serve in these new roles. It’s very difficult for those with a vested interest in more regional leadership to speak of the need for more regional leadership. What is the need for this added authority? What work is being prevented because these structures are not in place?

The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
Albert Einstein (attributed)

Events have happened with ICOC(Co-Operating) Church Leaders and ICOC(Community) Church Leaders, like the Southeast Festival of Faith, without the end of missions funding, the end of the ICoC, or the end of brotherhood across congregations. It is amazing what the Holy Spirit is able to accomplish without man’s help.

No matter what has been said to members of the Church Building Committee in public or private, this thinly veiled attack on those that will not sign or consent to regional leadership emerges periodically. Christians much more spiritual than I have written, spoken, begged you to consider pursuing peace instead of a one-size-fits-all agenda. (Rom 14:19-23) This course of action is not pursuant to peace. To those that cannot consent to a supra church structure out of conscience, it is a sign that such a belief is not only unacceptable, but a hindrance to the work of God. Such a claim is overreaching at best, arrogant at its worst. Rather than trying to assure us that you meant no harm, try not violating our conscience in the first place.

Simply put, state very clearly what it is that you want and why you cannot do it right now. All this other window dressing is just dancing about the issue.

Me am sick. I did all the vitamin stuff I could leading up to it. I tried everything I could think of. In the end, though, I ended up doing too much. Part of it was the failed video for Black History Sunday at church and refurbing a laptop for my wife. Part of it was not sleeping for awhile. If you heard my communion from Sunday, I sounded worse the next day.

The result, I am home sick for two days. So now, I am taking zinc and B vitamins and all the other assorted things that are supposed to help recovery. I’m also during various assorted herbal teas with chamomile my favorite. I am sorely tempted to use my grandparents remedy for these things:

4 parts Southern Comfort (required) to 1 part honey (almost optional) to 1/2 part lemon juice (entirely optional).

Fortunately for me, the tax refund hasn’t arrived yet, so that solution is too expensive. Thank goodness vitamins at the No Name Nutrition store in town is cheaper than whiskey. Still, I’m out for awhile.

At the last minute I was asked to give communion. Unable to form an original thought, I largely quoted someone else as was appropriate to the service.

One point of clarification: the moderation I mention is in reference to a Letter from a Birmingham Jail where MLK states that the white moderate may be the most dangerous foe to civil rights. It is the moderation that says, “let’s not disturb anything”. This ties into King’s concept of negative peace (no tension) as compared to positive peace (presence of justice). I didn’t elaborate, so it can sound like I am saying that moderation as a general principle is not loving. There are plenty of examples where love can be shown through moderation - again, the concept I wanted to make reference to is different.

Love at the Bottom of the Cross

I’ve been fluffing around lately. I see interesting things and generally ooh and ahh over it’s shiny veneer. I spend some time on my hobbies and enjoy world creation. Not a typo, I said world creation. The two worlds in the forge at this point are Lenga, which I’ve mentioned many times, and the Spring Football universe. The former is more or less based on the Roman Empire, the latter assumes that Donald Trump didn’t ruin the USFL. I took a hiatus from the Spring Football universe to play some board game football. I’m prepping for the draft on March 8.

Meanwhile, anything pertaining to religion has been pretty low-key. As stated earlier, I have been back to Delphi twice since my break with the ICoC blogosphere. Once out of curiosity, more recently as a result of the NIU shooting. Being a former board member, I don’t think it is possible to completely remove myself from the ICoC scene without attending and placing membership at a different church. I’m not a member of the church I attend, but I would have to attend elsewhere to really get away from the ICoC. Still, I am not going to instigate anything ICoC. Someone says something to me, fine, deal with it quickly and move on. Someone says, “you know what Gordo is saying now?” and I’ll avoid it. I get an idea in my head to see what X church leader is doing these days and a stinging self-rebuke is in order. That’s all part of my old life.

My online friend Doug went back to posting daily Bible studies. I know he enjoyed it and I enjoyed reading them. Cool stuff, really. Doing the same is not helpful to me right now, but I do plan on doing that at some point. I’ve gotten into at least three discussions lately where the disagreement turned into a criticism of my hermeneutic and eisegesis. (Not a misspelling.) In one case, I was talking about something that I hadn’t fully thought out in my own mind and admitted as much. The other two cases, though, led to disagreements about the implications of a stated belief. Someone would say something like the Bible says statement w, because of X verse, y verse, and z verse. I would respond that if you believe in statement w that implies statement U and statement U is not consistent with the Bible. Therefore, statement w may be wrong, inaccurate, or needs further thought. Then I say that we seem to have a different way of looking at things that will lead us to cross paths. That generally ends the discussion with a parting shot about proper Biblical interpretation.

I’ve learned that my hope for unity will not come through doctrinal agreement because there is a lack of agreement on hermeneutic, logic, and the value of intuition. I don’t think it is possible to come to an agreement on two of those three. Unity must come through something else - not the lack of conflict, but the focus on what’s really important. What is important is the work of Jesus.

More on that later.

Still, I work through things in my mind like the nature of God’s predestination. I’ve become interested in Molinism lately, despite the appearance circular reasoning by many of its largest proponents. No one has really stated it simply, which makes it dubious in my mind. Yet, I appreciate the idea that God is sovereign *AND* man has free will. (In all candor, if there is no free will, Christianity is pointless to me. I didn’t say everyone, I said me. I wish I could take Spurgeon’s take on a few areas and just say, “I don’t understand,” but I am not as strong as he was about it.) I believe in a God that has supreme power but also supreme self-control in that He doesn’t have to force choices on all of creation in order for the universe to work out as He plans.

But all this mental stuff leaves the heart dry and thirsty. I’ve taken Bobber’s suggestion at chanting the Psalms. The effort sputtered at first, but I hope that when the book arrives that he mentioned, this effort will get back on track. I plan to write about it when I start again. In the meantime, the heart delights in the simple pleasures of my children. Jesus said that we need to become like them in enter Heaven and I understand, in part, why.

Brother Bear has no problem starting new adventures because he doesn’t think about how much I love him. He knows I do. When he’s tired, he tells me, when he’s scared, he asks me for comfort, when he’s crossed a boundary, he respects my word. He revels in what he can do and spends most of his time doing those things. He likes to say “o” and “x” and a few other letters. He likes to run at full speed. He likes to throw all the cushions of the couch. He like to dive from one piece of furniture to the next (without a net). He likes to dance. Whatever he does, he does it as hard as he can without stress. Whenever he feels something, he expresses it. Whenever he has been naughty, he dislikes the whole process, but the drama ends when the process is over. It’s as if he is saying, There’s just too many good things to do. Despite the sometimes bewildering complexity of his personality, this fundamental thought seems to keep him going.

I’d like to think he gets it from me. If not, I’d like to think that I can be that way. Either way, I am ready to get back to it. There’s just too many good things to do.